Who I Really Am
by originalzzstory
Summary: The mirror in front of me reflected who I truly was. I couldn't hide from the image that stood before me. With red glowing eyes, and a blood stained mouth...I was a monster.


A/N: I don't own these characters. They all belong to the original creator obviously. This is like a pretwilight… so no bella just the regular cullen family. This is my first story, and I hope you enjoy.

Thanks!

The mirror in front of me reflected who I truly was. I couldn't hide from the image that stood before me. With red glowing eyes, and a blood stained mouth...I was a monster.

I was exactly what I was created to be. Those eyes… they displayed the past I despised, and tried to forget. Killing as if I were some animal. The life of a once bright future disappeared like their blood into my system.

Why couldn't this be easy for me?

Why couldn't I be like the rest of my family? Why couldn't I abstain from being a monster… sometimes it felt as if Maria were still here, and taunting me to kill one more… one more.

Would this vegetarian life ever be enough for me?

My mind began to wonder back to my human life… to when all I wanted was to help people. To save them from monsters... From people like me.

I was the youngest major in the Texas Calvary. I had been deceived by her beauty. She was young, and being in the army we were always taught to help people. My training kicked in, and I stood before three attractive women. It was when she approached me, and the pain set in that I realized my deadly mistake.

I didn't see beyond her beauty where deep within a much more sinister demon lay. I was simply her puppet, and she pulled all the strings. I was created only to train, and defeat anything that stood in her way.

The training the army gave me was nothing compared to the brutality of these newborns. Despite all that I never lost my focus, and controlling emotions only gave Maria the edge up. I was her major… and she knew how to control me.

Her ominous thoughts and ways never let the newborns live beyond their first year. With a hug, and a forceful kiss... I would know that it was that person's time. Of course they never knew, but the feelings in their last seconds overwhelmed me. Closing my eyes briefly. I would let the pain resonate a moment longer before just like that they were gone, and only billowing smoke told of the horror I had done.

At the time I didn't know there could be another way of life other than this hell; I was forced to take part in. My friend peter told me he felt I had more than what this life could offer me. I didn't know that more made me less of a monster. Less of a monster with the one person who held the key of my heart. She made me who I am today... a much better person than that of the past. 

My sweet Alice smiled, and I felt her wrap her arms around me. Her gold eyes staring at my red ones. She radiated nothing but love and compassion. For the first time she overwhelmed me.

"How can you love a monster like me?" I asked softly not daring to look into her captivating eyes.

"Why can't you see what I see?" She asks softly hiding her face deep into my neck.

"I'm a monster… i'm weak. I killed again, and ruined our chances with this family. I'm sorry" If I could cry… I knew the tears wouldn't stop.

"Those scars that you carry with you jazz… are not what defines you. Your not a monster my love. You slipped up, but thats okay… just keep fighting my soldier. I know you think you've ruined my dreams, but jasper when will you see? I love you for you.. Even with the scares"

"But"

Before i could Ask anything else, and degrade myself she spoke again

"You didn't ruin anything my love. This is the start of a new beginning. Were gonna like this new place… as a family" She promise with a sweet laugh she added her signature. "I know it… i've seen it"

Her slender arms unwrapped from around me, and she spun me around. In our room stood the rest of our family. Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, Rosalie, and Edward… Their emotions radiating nothing but love… and forgiveness.

"Son you had a moment of weakness. We've all been there. Your mistakes are not unforgivable. You, and alice belong here with us." Carlisle smiled at me.

"I hated this place anyways jazz" Rosalie smiled causing all of us to silently laugh at her comment.

"Forks will be a new start for all of us. I love you jazz" Alice said as she hugged me once more as we grabbed our bags, and vanished from charlotte.

The End


End file.
